How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
