if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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