You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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