The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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