i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
