I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
