Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
