Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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