is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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