Just cropdusted the office
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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