I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
