An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
