so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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