Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it's like iHOP with fire
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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