Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
