Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
