ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
