...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
