Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
