hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
