well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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