...so i touched it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
