she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
