Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
