The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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