fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
