1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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