I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
