Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
