I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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