I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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