I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
