I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
