yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
