That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
