If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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