I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
they're like a gay fantastic four
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
