He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
