So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
