Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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