New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
