what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
