Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
