This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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