There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
