If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
