Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
