Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
