I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
