You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
