3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
