Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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